I don’t pretend to be a wonderful cook, but I strive to improve at putting together tasty meals, often following recipes by reputed chefs. In his latter years, my dad became a competent chef. He regularly emailed me recipes he'd developed. Recently, I began attempting to bring those recipes to life, yet they never seem to turn out to be as delicious as my dad’s.
During a recent date with my wife, we discovered an Indian restaurant we hadn't visited before. The uniqueness of their menu sparked hope that I would finally taste authentic Indian cooking, something I'd longed for during my 25 years in South Africa. My hopes were rewarded with an authentically scrumptious meal, evoking memories of my years in India, particularly my mom’s homemade cooking. With my mom and dad no longer around, that meal had a healing effect on my soul, transporting me back to my childhood. At last, I found the kind of Indian restaurant my soul had been yearning for.
In many of our churches, we're well acquainted with the recipe of Christianity. We meticulously plan services with well-crafted sermons, uplifting music, and an atmosphere meant to usher in the "presence" of God. We create spaces for people’s gifts to flourish, praying, planning, and strategizing to advance the kingdom of God. Despite our efforts, something seems to be missing–the essence of Jesus, as depicted in Scriptures.
Deep within the cultural milieu of Christianity, Christ's heart and essence may elude us. Some remain faithful to Jesus and His church but are not deeply transformed. Others church-hop in search of a taste of Jesus, often in vain. Tragically, some abandon the idea of church altogether, convinced they'll never find Jesus in any congregation.
We are great at our attempts to meticulously following the recipe, and yet it doesn’t quite taste like Jesus. So, what is missing? It certainly is not due to a lack of effort, good theology or resources. And yet, it tastes nothing like the original. At best it could be a paltry imitation of it. Why is Jesus missing in our churches despite our sincere attempts to replicate him?
Our Christian Bubble
Perhaps the quest for an answer lies in our lack of awareness of the world we live in. We’ve successfully managed to create a Christian culture and bubble that inoculates us from the real world. People in our world today carry so much pain, trauma, and hurt from the past that our relationships, worldview, and life experiences are negatively impacted, and the quality of our lives profoundly diminished. While we revel in the bubbles we have created, our humanity is being dismantled and disintegrated in front of our eyes.
Past evangelism strategies have functioned from an “inside out” approach, employing the biblical concepts of sin and forgiveness, and heaven and hell, as the worldview that informs how we reach people. But such information is only privy to Christians. This approach assumes that the average human being is seeking forgiveness of sin and a guarantee of heaven in the afterlife. This approach worked well in the overly religious and highly Christianized world of the West and some parts of the East, infiltrated by Western thinking. However, in the more recent years of the 21st Century, our experiences with most people outside the Christian faith highlight that this is not necessarily the case. While we may preach on heaven and hell in the afterlife, many are just trying to survive the living hell they are currently immersed in in this life.
Our world is plagued with numerous crises such as economic instability, broken relationships, financial hardships, crime, political volatility, and racism, to name a few. Navigating life in these times for mere survival, let alone flourishing, is the road many travel on. Happiness is elusive. To add to the chaos and confusion of our world, the Christian rhetoric, especially on social media, is often harsh and jarring to the ears, condemnatory and condescending to the heart, and downright neglectful of the humanity of people.
A large part of the church has become irrelevant to the rest of the world. We would even go so far as to say that the church is largely irrelevant to Christians and their daily struggle as they face the everyday challenges of life and the devastation of their own brokenness. Theologically academic sermons with profound spiritual truths and insights are dished out without much relevance to the human struggle of what it means to live in the 21st Century.
Many of our worship services are well-planned and executed but lack the authenticity required to connect deeply with people. We allow room for the Holy Spirit to lead us, even to the heady heights of spiritual cloud nine, whilst neglecting to provide tools for people to navigate their own brokenness here on ground zero. Hence, churchgoers remain committed to the overall ministry of the church but don’t find themselves deeply and profoundly transformed. Many remain broken with the tragedy of never embarking on the path to wholeness. Jesus said that he came to give us a “rich and satisfying life” or an “abundant life” (John 10:10). Yet even many of those who follow him do not experience that life.
Understanding our World
We are arguably living in the most broken generation to have ever existed. The food we eat is doing us more harm than good. Marriages are strained, and the divorce rate is high. Children grow up with the aftereffects of trauma, as a result of mentally unstable and emotionally unhealthy parents, who themselves have trauma passed on from previous generations. Our incredibly rushed, overly stimulated, extremely distracted, unbearably overloaded lives are robbing us of living the lives we were created to live and the meaningful connections we are meant to have with others.
Additionally, we live in the most paradoxical generation. Due to the internet and social media, we have never been more connected. And yet, we have never been lonelier and more isolated. We regularly connect online but don’t quite know how to deeply connect with another soul. The advancement of technology has ensured the cure to many diseases and conditions that were once incurable. And yet, the dire condition of mental and emotional health plagues most people without seemingly any progress towards wholeness.
As Christians, we have become polarizing and divisive. We unknowingly have embedded in our consciousness an “us” and “them” attitude which stems from a place of pride. This keeps Christians from being able to identify with the rest of humanity. Christians are seen as bigots, homophobes, and misogynists. We live in a Christian bubble and are not even aware of it most of the time. We post on social media what we think is “truth” without ever considering how the tone of our posts is interpreted by people who are themselves deeply broken.
We either possess a naivety towards the human condition, an overly simplistic view of human brokenness, or a downright arrogance that keeps us from fully comprehending what it means to be human. We have lost the ability to journey with people and seek to understand the complexity of their stories and the depth of their pain.
The real Jesus
The church is not short of eloquent and powerful preachers, profound worship experiences, rich theological content, an endless supply of resources, far-reaching outreach programs, and extended discipleship courses, just to name a few. What I have found lacking in my church experience in the last 42 years is a Jesus-like compassion. An empathy towards the plight and suffering of the broken human condition, driven by the desire to understand and serve. We have become quick to point fingers, ready to pull out Bible verses, eager to paint everyone with the same paintbrush. But very slow to attempt to understand, to be willing to go on a journey, to be the loving and non-anxious presence that so many need in the midst of their brokenness.
I am reminded by the Holy Spirit not to become critical of those who are critical. To not feel like I’m better than the self-righteous. To not become like those who have frustrated me. I am aware of the difference between a critical mind and a critical spirit. A large part of this write-up is intended to be a helpful critique of what a large part of the church and indeed Christianity has become. I have been on a long journey, searching for the heart of Jesus for people.
One of the reasons Jesus came was to show us what it truly means to be human. To live fully alive. To live free of shame, guilt, fear, and condemnation. It is tragic to observe that these very painful emotions are employed by some Christians in an attempt to draw people towards Jesus. In doing so, they have unknowingly caused people to be offended by Jesus even before they have had an opportunity to meet him. We have tainted and distorted the name and heart of Jesus for people. Many of us have done so without even being aware of it.
It’s all about Love
Love is at the heart of the Christian faith. The Apostle John in 1 John 4:20 reminds us that “if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?”. Love for God and people are synonymous. In fact, the entire Scriptures and the essence of being a follower of Jesus could be summed up in loving people the way Jesus loves them. To become like Jesus is to love like Jesus. When we miss the human being in front of us, we miss the Jesus who created them. We love God best when we love people well. Bypassing the human being in front of us in order to advance our kingdom agendas has become an all-too-common phenomenon. The irony is that people are the kingdom agenda.
In the midst of laboring for the advancement of the kingdom of God, we lose sight of the subjects the king bled and died for. We treat them like dispensable resources only there to make up our numbers and make us feel more significant about ourselves. When people’s brokenness is on open display, we tell people to just get over it and move on, without even a thought or consideration to the painful life experiences and trauma they might have undergone that has shaped their worldview and decision making.
In Luke 15:3-7, Jesus narrates the parable of the lost sheep, alluding to the fact that he goes after the one sheep that is lost while leaving the rest of the ninety-nine behind. I love the Navy Seals motto which says “Leave No Man Behind”. It’s a beautiful illustration of the heart of Jesus for people. Every person matters. Behind every face is a story, a journey, a life lived, a life that Jesus died for. True Christ-like love takes time to firstly see, hear, and understand people’s story, pain, and suffering.
The slave-girl Hagar had such a profound encounter with the pre-incarnate Jesus in Genesis 16 that she named God “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Gen 16:13). One of the ways you know you are loved is when you feel that you are seen, heard, and understood in the midst of your life’s journey. In fact, studies show that to feel seen, heard, and understood is a critical building block for emotional regulation. In other words, when we are loved well, it goes a long way towards becoming whole.
Jesus is about us becoming whole so that we can truly experience the rich and satisfying life he offers. But somehow, we’re supposed to either ignore or bury an integral part of who we are, or just carry it along as our cross to bear. When Jesus speaks about the cross we have to bear, he was not referring to our brokenness, but rather the sacrifices we would have to make and the challenges we would encounter as a result of following him. Ignoring people and their brokenness is not loving and it isn’t the heart of Jesus. To be seen heard and understood is the first step.
Understanding our Brokenness
Christianity is more divisive and polarized than it has ever been. That’s because we are divided and fragmented within ourselves. Self-alienation causes alienation from others. When we are not aware of our own brokenness and what the journey to wholeness looks like, we live under the illusion that we are doing just fine. This suppresses the very life and love of Jesus inside of us because we ourselves have not truly experienced what it means to be loved by him. We struggle to love others like Jesus because we have not truly received that love from him. We can’t give what we don’t have.
Under the banner of fighting for truth, we would happily and systematically dehumanize and dismantle other human beings. That often stems from a deep sense of insecurity and inadequacy. Past wounds and hurts stemming from broken relationships with our parents (especially our fathers) result in adults that are vying for meaning and identity, doing whatever it takes to find them, even if it means trampling all over people and leaving a trail of dead bodies behind them. Ministry then becomes a platform to elevate ourselves to a place of significance and worth.
We may be giving our best for the mission and yet leave people behind. The mission is the people. To create a dichotomy between the two is a fallacy, one that dishonors Jesus and those he has created in his image. To say that none of us have any agenda is false. Whenever we meet with people or spend time with them, we must have an agenda. The agenda should be people. The agenda should be to love and serve people and to see them as beings of God with dignity, value, and worth. The agenda must always be people.
A sobering Conclusion
Towards the end of Jesus' famed Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says this: “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgment day, many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’” (Matt 7:21-23). All of God’s laws are summed up in loving God, which is visibly demonstrated by a love for people (Matt 22:36-39).
In my estimation, this is probably the most sobering passage in all of Scripture. We may appear to have gotten the recipe down to the T, and yet lack the taste of Jesus. If the aroma of the love of Jesus does not permeate our works for Jesus, then it would seem that Jesus would not want anything to do with us for the rest of eternity. According to Jesus, this is symptomatic of a lack of intimacy with him.
May we be known by our love for Jesus, demonstrated by our love for people. We may be accused of many things, but may we never be accused of not loving well. Not loving like Jesus. Loving like Jesus really does bring healing to broken and hurt souls. But it’s a love that we first have to experience ourselves. When others begin to taste that love, they would not want to go anywhere else. They would have found home. They would have found what they have been looking for.