As a 42-year-old I have witnessed the passing away of many people. Some from a fatal car accident. Others to a terminal disease. Many still to natural causes. And a few who have tragically taken their own life. But recently a certain death haunted my soul in a way that left me searching. Searching for answers. Searching for meaning. Searching for peace.

An Unexpected Tragedy

Gardeners are one of those people who remain in the shadow of our living spaces. They emerge on a weekly basis to cut our grass, trim the bushes, and ensure that the plants and flowers are growing as they should be. We tend to exchange the courteous greeting and may on occasion venture into polite conversation. We appreciate what they do but somehow don’t feel the need or the inclination to build a more meaningful relationship with them.

Perhaps this is the symptom of life in the 21st Century post COVID-19. If anything, the COVID season made us more afraid of one another. The thing that many fear the most, death, could now be brought upon us by someone carrying a virus. Our forced isolation made us even more withdrawn and bent inwards towards ourselves, away from others. We already do live behind high walls, but the desire for human connection outside of the usual group of people we regularly encounter, seems to increasingly diminish over time.

A few days ago, we received the tragic news that one of our gardeners had passed away. We knew that he was lying in a hospital bed due to some illness. Without too much knowledge of his condition we had hoped that he would recover soon and be back on his feet. But at 38 years of age, he slipped away from this life tragically leaving behind a wife and 3 kids. He was a good man, humble and self-effacing. My 2-year-old son particularly seemed to get along with him. Perhaps in that itself there is a lesson to be learnt. Kids seem to have no inhibitions. It is as we get older that our insecurities and inhibitions are developed.

Why this haunts Me

When someone passes away at a reasonably young age, it feels abrupt. A life that seemingly had several decades to be lived, was suddenly no more. I am certain there are dreams left unfulfilled, memories that will no longer be made, and promises that will not be kept. I proceeded to try and find out the reason for his demise. It turned out that he was a diabetic who hadn’t managed to look after himself well. This knowledge broke me. For he wasn’t the first person I know who had passed away prematurely due to poorly managed diabetes.

My Grandfather passed away at 67, barely a year after I was born. I never got to know him, sit on his lap, hear him tell me war stories or anything of the like. He too was a diabetic. From what I hear, he scoffed at his condition and didn’t necessarily take the required steps to take care of himself. There are few other I have met over the years who have responded to their condition in like manner and have tragically passed away.

My wife is a Type 1 diabetic, but she had the privilege of growing up middle class and having the best medical care and education one could possibly have. That has tremendously assisted her in living a healthy life and ensuring that her blood sugars are well managed. I couldn’t but help think that if I had taken the time to acknowledge a fellow human being who I saw at least once a week, and built a relationship with him , I might have found out that he was diabetic and would have been able to counsel him on certain lifestyle and dietary adjustments he could have made in order to be able to live a long and relatively healthy life.

There is a case to be made for those of the lower income group having better access to medical care and being educated on how to look after themselves especially if they are suffering certain physical conditions. Perhaps this is something we should be fighting for, in order to prevent further tragedies from occurring. I’m sure our gardener was not the first to pass away under such circumstances. Now his wife has had a husband taken away from her and his kids will have to grow up without their father. Death is always hardest on those who are left behind.

Seeing God’s Image in Others

Every human being has equal value dignity and worth before their Creator. They are made in his image and therefore possess inherent worth. We may all differ from one another through race, culture and socio-economic backgrounds. But what we hold in common is that we are human beings who are God’s image on this earth. When we take time to engage one another’s lives, we are the richer and better for it.

When we skim through life under the guise of busyness, we also skim through people. When we pause and interact with a fellow image bearer of God, so much good comes out of it. Our perspectives change, our knowledge grows, and our lives are enriched. We live in a world where we prefer to spend several hours in front of a screen disengaging from real life, living in a world of make believe, wishing our cares away. In doing so, we miss the opportunity of getting to know others who might just make all the difference in our lives. We miss the opportunity to bless others and be blessed by them.

When God made the first human he said, “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Those words ring true more now than ever before. We need to fight for time to do life with others. To sit down over a meal and enjoy one another’s company. To share stories, laugh with and at one another, and on some days even cry together. Loneliness has been a silent killer, making people feel even more unwanted or unworthy. When you no longer have a reason to live for, other people’s well-being may become a reason for us to just carry on. Don’t miss the human in front of you. You never know what a relationship with them may lead to. It may just save a life.

Redemption

Just over 24 hours after our gardeners passing, I bumped into the other gardener who labored alongside him. He was obviously shaken and visibly moved by losing his colleague. I invited him to come and spend some time with me in my back yard. He was very keen to take me up on my offer. When he arrived, I helped him process his loss over the next 10 minutes or so. He was never one to open up much in the past, but he sure did so that day. Whilst praying for him, he wet the ground with his tears. Some of the pent-up emotion and grief that he felt came flooding out in the form of tears.

I was glad that I was able to spend that time with him, brief as it was. It was the first humane and indeed human connection we had ever had. It’s sad that it took a tragedy such as this in order to do so. However, I look forward to getting to know him more intimately. The thoughts that were haunting me for over 24 hours seemed to make their way out of my mind. Those special moments I had with him in some way seemed to usher in some form of redemption for me.

Your Song Saved My Life

A couple of days before our gardener’s passing, I watched the animation “Sing 2” with my kids. One of the tracks in the movie was the song “Your Song Saved my Life” by Bono from U2. The song stuck with me. Every time the songs plays in my head, I see the face of our gardener. It keeps playing in my mind, not because U2 is my favorite band, but because the song reminded me of a passage from the Bible.

God sings over those who have put their faith in his Son Jesus. Jesus had to come as a human being in order to engage with the humans he created. In order for God to connect with us, he had to become one of us. Yes, in order for him to save us, he had to become one of us. He sings over us because he delights in us. Knowing that the song he sings over me stems from his magnanimous love for me has truly saved my life. When I am fearful, I know that I am deeply loved. When I am despondent, I know that his unfailing love keeps me going.

Mine is a life indebted to the fact that God did not pass me by. He wasn’t too distracted by running the world that he missed seeing me. He noticed me and took time to engage me and tell me that my life was worth saving. To be saved from his righteous judgement in believing that he traded places with me on that cross is the greatest gift of love I have ever received. He put his Spirit in me to gift me a life that is full of his life and goodness. He continues to sing over me. His love saved my life. His song continues to save my life.